


Manly Men Men Men

by AvaCelt



Series: EXO Prompt Fills [17]
Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Bad Flirting, Drunken Shenanigans, Gen, M/M, Tooth-Rotting Fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-07-17
Updated: 2013-07-17
Packaged: 2017-12-20 12:30:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,704
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/887298
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AvaCelt/pseuds/AvaCelt
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>First kisses are always a doozy.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Manly Men Men Men

**Author's Note:**

> Takes place a few hours after the Beijing awards. Title based off Two and a Half Men theme song.

No one complained. The company van was gone, and instead, someone had called in a sleek limo set to take them to a hotel where good food, great alcohol, and comfortable beds awaited them. It was their night to take. As much as they all knew that work awaited them the following afternoon, they left the details to fate and crawled into the vehicle. Giggles, snorts, a few shoves and screeches later, the engine revved and they sped off into the night. 

They drank like Tao drank on evenings before a free day. They drank so much that it slipped their minds that a quarter of the group were lightweights, prompting them to slump over the couches in their day clothes and snore away like fat cats on a lazy Sunday. The rest guffawed and hooted and fell asleep soon after because they ended up being too exhausted to move another inch. They’d collectively hoped to stay up the entire night, but only managed two hours. 

Two hours, two beds, two couches, and a healthy portion of the floor later- ten men slumbered contently under the dim suite lights. Some rambled nonsensically in their sleep while others dreamed about pretty noonas, pandas, a ticket back to Canada, and assorted other things. 

Only two were awake, their eyes glassy with mirth and bodies hyper from the tins of hazelnut chocolate they’d stuffed themselves with. Luhan crowed with laughter and Yixing, as always, followed dutifully.

They stifled giggles when they saw heads loll and drool soak into expensive carpeting below. They played with the confetti they managed to sneak in before showering the sleeping members with crinkled bits and tucking them it into loose places on their bodies. They raided the fridge and ate delicacies they weren’t supposed, all the while avoiding the alcohol bottles still strewn across the suite. 

Luhan jerked his head and howled when Yixing pinched his side and threw a cushion at his head. 

"What was that for!?" 

"For making fun of me in front of the camera, dickhead." Yixing smirked slyly and bit his bottom lip.

Luhan pouted. “I was right, tho-"

"-you were so close!" Yixing threw another cushion. It landed on Luhan’s lap with a dull thwack. 

"I was not," he whined. “I was perfectly composed and manly, excuse you."

"Your eyes were wet," he teased. “I bet the fans took high def photos. All I have to do is check tomorrow night, and we’ll see whether or not you were close to crying."

"I thought we were friends," he flushed, clearly scandalized. “To think that you’d run to fans for confirmation instead of listening to your best friend." He turned his head away dramatically and clutched a cushion to his chest. 

"You made fun of me!" Yixing grumbled and began to viciously poke the older man as his back was turned. “You," poke, “were," poke poke, “a meanie." Poke poke poke po-

Yixing felt his back hit the couch. He blinked rapidly, mouth set in an open  _oh_. His wrists were pinned tightly against the polyster and he realized, embarrassingly slowly, that the older man was smirking down on him. 

Yixing huffed audibly. “Y-you-"

"-I’m what?" Luhan bit his bottom lip, smirk still playing on his lips. “Tell me."

Yixing grimaced. “A l-loser," he managed to stutter. “A complete twat, at that!"

Now Luhan pouted. “You were the one that hit me, though," he accused. 

"Because you were being a douche," he bit back. He tried to wriggle his hands out of the older man’s grip, but soon came to understand that, that was nearly impossible. 

"Well, I’m sorry." Luhan pondered, while still pinning Yixing to the couch. 

"I’m going to break your crotch if you don’t let go," he threatened, his arms beginning to flail against the iron clutch. 

Luhan scoffed, but then broke into a string of giggles. “You’re so cute when you’re mad."

"Let go!" He whined. Someone in the background grumbled at the noise, and Luhan had to stifle his howls of mirth for the sake of avoiding a shoe to the head. Yixing flushed. “Dickhead," he grumbled before letting his efforts slacken.

It would have ended rather pleasantly if Yixing hadn’t said that last word. Luhan would probably have let him go, and Yixing might have mustered up the strength to throw a few more cushions, pillows, and maybe even a candlestick or two before they settled into another plate of buttered shrimp and two more cases of apple juice. Then Wu Fan or Jong In might have woken up and attempted to strangle them both for ruining perfectly good sleep. And then they’d all have eventually fallen asleep, and that would have been the end of it. 

But, of course, when these two particular human beings were involved, things never even  _thought_  to end pleasantly.

Because when Luhan’s lips pressed against Yixing’s, his protests died a morbid death in his throat. He froze entirely, and Luhan let go of his wrists- opting to wrap his muscled arms around his waist and pull him deeper into the kiss instead.

And Yixing responded. He let his lips part and allow elder to explore his mouth while he ghosted shaky hands over lean shoulders and toned hips. When the Beijing native let go, they rested their foreheads against each other. Yixing took deep breaths as if he’d been underwater for too long.

"Forgiven?" The elder pouted, brushing his nose against the younger’s.

Yixing blinked, coming to his senses. Then he narrowed his eyes into slits. “You stole my first kiss," he stated coldly. 

Luhan smiled. “Well, you see. When a boy likes a boy, and wants to start a rel-"

Luhan felt a sudden pain in his crotch. Yixing’s nostrils flared. He clambered off the younger man.

"DICKHEAD!"

"You kissed back," he squeaked. Yixing didn’t seem to hear, and began chasing him around the suite. 

Needless to say, the racousness ended up waking all of the other members. Se Hun took a minute to adjust his eyes to seeing Yixing brandish a cushion in one hand and a pair of tongs in the other. ("For plucking Luhan’s lips off his face," Yixing stated in a deadly tone.)

When the other members finally helped the dancer pin the flower boy down, some semblance of peace returned. 

Luhan cowered. 

Yixing glared. 

Wu Fan yawned and went back to sleep on the couch, pulling Joon Myun with him. Luhan shut his eyes as he feared the worst.

And then he felt soft lips peck his nose. He opened his eyes and blinked dazedly. 

"Not so manly right now, hmm?" Yixing chirped, his trademark smirk and dimple glistening in the low light of the suite. 

And Luhan pounced, smothering him in a passionate kiss and embrace as Chan Yeol passed out in the background.

"This is what happens when they order Nutella," Jong In yawned. He elbowed Se Hun for a response, but when he didn’t, he turned to see that the man was already back to sleep like the other members who didn’t really want to see a public make out session. He shrugged and snuggled closer to the younger man before drifting off as well. 

*******

Later on, on a fluffy bed and with an open jar of Nutella, Luhan poked Yixing in the cheek. “You weren’t really planning on plucking my lips off, right? It’s part of my manliness," he informed seriously. 

He shook his head. “Then I wouldn’t be able to kiss them," he said, licking his lips clean of the choclatey goodness.

Luhan stayed silent. Yixing continued to devour the snack. Then, Luhan took the spoon and the jar from Yixing’s hands and placed them on the counter. Before the younger could protest, Luhan pulled him into a hug and nuzzled his neck. 

"I’ll be super manly and protect you at all costs," he promised. 

Yixing attempted to wriggle out of his hold. “You can start off by giving me back my food."

"I love you," he breathed contently. 

"Seriously, Luhan, give me back the Nutella."

"I’ll pick flowers for you, and put them in your hair, and carry you up around," he mumbled contently into the neck. 

"I don’t want any damn flowers," he griped.

"And we’ll get ice cream by the beach, and have sex in hotel, and make sandcastles later-"

"Give me my Nutella, damn it!" 

Luhan looked up and pouted. “You’re no fun," he huffed. 

"Nutella," Yixing seethed.

Now, once more, it came down to Yixing’s last word. Had he not said “Nutella" and just opted to silently seethe, it may as well have been possible that Luhan eventually returned the Nutella. And thus, the night might have gone smoothly, and perhaps a few more snogging sessions would take place before they had to return to work the following afternoon. 

But with these two, nothing seemed to go the right way. 

"How about no?" Luhan smiled. 

"GIVE ME BA-"

Sadly, Luhan’s hand were stronger, and he was just a little bit heavier, and ten times more ruthless. So Yixing had no choice but to melt into the kiss again and let his hands speak for his heart as his mind mourned, buried, and forgot about the Nutella.

When Luhan let go, Yixing whined. 

"That was manly," he grinned proudly. 

"I can still destroy your crotch," Yixing chirped before pulling the man down for another kiss. 

They decided to leave it at that.

*******

"… I had this weird dream that Luhan and Yixing ge were making out on the carpet last night after the show." Tao scratched his head. 

Chan Yeol yawned. “I had that dream too. I think Yixing hyung was carrying tongs."

"And a cushion," Jong In added. 

"I feel as if a jar of Nutella was involved," Jong Dae pondered. 

"… should we ask?" Jong In asked. 

All men furiously shook their heads in unison. 

"Just a dream," Min Seok assured. 

"A collective, alcohol-induced dream," Jong Dae said. 

Suddenly, a wild LayHan appeared holding hands and sporting matching Beats, bags, and keychains. They waved and walked out of the suite sporting brilliant smiles. 

"… yeah. Definitely a dream," Tao flushed.

The others decided some things were just meant to be left unsaid.


End file.
